2. Changing Mara's rancid nappies is a good incentive for me to stop biting my nails, irrespective of nailbrushes and alcohol gel. I've had more shit on my fingers this week than a doctor doing 100 prostate exams a day with the hangover shakes.
3. Your day doesn't get any better when a fellow parent tells you their little one can sleep right through the night. *Round of applause* "Good for you, that's great to know. Our little one likes to party all night, and we have to join in whether we like it or not!"
4. Sniffing our baby's arse to ascertain if she has dirtied her nappy or not has quickly become something that is socially acceptable in our house despite vowing I wouldn't be that guy!
5. Emptying the nappy bin is a thankless task. It will always be full. Always.
Actually, same rules apply for the laundry bin too. Clothing seems to multiply in there or something.
6. Your child being born is easily the best day of your life, but being the proud owner of a tumble dryer that works comes a very close second.
7. The most romantic thing I can do for Caroline right now is get the nipple shield from the steriliser tub in the middle of the night so she doesn't need to get out of bed.
8. Trying to maintain a tidy house is like trying to run in mud whilst tethered to the ground. It doesn't matter how hard you try, you're not going anywhere fast.
9. Mara's nursery is slowly turning into a plushophile's wet dream! In contrast, our living room is turning into Toy's 'R' Us with the number of play mats and Jungle Gyms arriving!
10. No matter how horrible a day I've had at work, or how stressed I get about things that don't even matter, nothing beats coming home to a big, cosy cuddle on the sofa with my two favourite girls.
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