10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 8)

1.Caroline trying to play a tune in Mara's Lamaze Octotune toy sounds like a dog trying to shag a burst bagpipe...

2. The flashing lights on Mara's Snuza Hero sleep apnoea monitor make me think she's gearing up to annihilate us in a game of Laserquest! 

3. When your baby sick-ups and sneezes at the same time. All over you. At 03.30 in the morning.

4. At various points this week, depending on how I'm holding her, my daughter has confused my knuckle, pinky finger, nose and earlobe for a nipple just before feeding time!

5. During our ridiculous o'clock starts Mara and I have ploughed our way through a fair few movies. Pirates of the Caribbean 1,2,3 AND 4, Kill Bill Vol. 1&2, The Help the Tina Turner Biopic (smashing movie!) and Fantasia 2000. 

I think this week we'll aim to watch the Harry Potter box set and maybe The Dark Knight Trilogy. None of this Disney Princess patter and definitely no Frozen! 

6. Amazon have been at our house every day since we got out of hospital with deliveries of varying sizes. We signed up to Amazon Prime and in 10 days it has paid for itself through the lack of delivery charges. The delivery drivers will be cursing us!

7. The residents of Curling Pond Lane were hit twice this week by a Poo-nami. They had no prior warning. And judging by recent happenings, or lack of, there's gonna be another.

8. Waking up to your little ones poo stare is awkward for you both. It's even worse when said little one is doing it while looking you square in the eyes and smiling creepily. 

9. Look Who's Talking (another movie me and the bub have watched) is 100% funnier now we are living it! I imagine Mara to be thinking the same things as Baby Mikey.

"Help! Help! Somebody burp me before I blow up!!"

10. Cuddles from my baby just get better and better.