10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 14)

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1. Running out of baby wipes mid change is scarier than Club Earth on a Friday night... (Or Melville's, or Zen or whatever the hell it's called these days! EQHQ? All horrendous names for a crappy nightclub IMO!!)

2. Tidying up around your sleeping child makes you feel as though you're burgling your own home.

3. Someone told Mara the best time to fill her nappy was just before she falls asleep. Halfway through a feed is also another favourite.

Not just Hell... Hell. On. Fucking. Earth. Seems more appropriate!.

5.  I've got to remember to lick my fingers to open the nappy bag *before* I change the rancid nappy.

6. When cutting your baby's razorblades (I mean fingernails) its always best to leave the tip of their finger attached. Failure to do so will result in Caroline hitting the fucking roof! Mara actually wasn't too bothered and I can assure you it was just a little nick, I've had worse paper cuts!

7. Now, having been unable to cut said fingernails, Mara has taken this opportunity to claw her head and take a little chunk out of her scalp. I very near had a fit when I woke up this morning to find her muslin dotted with blood!

8. I am nothing without coffee. Every day they're getting a little bit stronger. If I keep increasing the strength I should be able to tar a road by the end of September.

9. There's no feeling as nice as waking up in the morning and the first thing you see is your baby, who has been watching you sleep for who knows how long, smiling at you.

10. I went for my first proper run since Mara was born last night. I'm not saying I'm Usain Bolt or anything but my time for a 5K was 39:58. This is 58 seconds longer than my Personal Best from the 5K I completed in Las Vegas in November. That's what 5 weeks of hospital food will do to you I suppose! I may be slower than a herd of turtles running through peanut butter (mmmmm, peanut butter!) but it's a start. I'm running in a 5K at The Kelpies in Falkirk in November (a birthday gift to myself) so my goal time is 35 mins. I'll be raising money for the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) at St Johns Hospital, Livngston as a way to say thank you for everything they did for Mara during what was a really difficult time. Without all of those amazing ladies, we might not be where we are today. They are a credit to the NHS.
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Thanks in advance!

Mark, Caroline & Mara x