2. It's not against the realms of possibility to feel so tired that you think someone has dipped your eyeballs in wasabi paste.
3. If you ever have to change a nappy that requires more than six wipes before you've even removed said nappy, you might need to invest in a therapist.
4. Only as a parent have I ever sat down on the loo and thought, 'yeah, you've earned this...'
5. Now that Mara has learned to grab, and is still drooling like Beethoven, every cuddle feels like I'm being mugged by a dribbling dwarf.
6. Tidying up your home isn't a job you can finish - it's a constant battle. Not only has Caroline gone Amazon daft with Christmas coming up, but the Amazon boxes have also worked out how to pro-create. Thankfully I've got a bigger blue bin being delivered by the council - You know, those same fuck-wits who halved the size of the grey bins.
7. I'll never understand Mara's taste buds. Mara will quite happily munch on a piece of paper that she's grabbed from the sofa, but will kick off if we try to give her some mince & tatties!
8. Having to do a nappy change in front of an audience makes me feel more stressed than I did proposing to Caroline in Santorini. I took that ring with me everywhere we went, and I mean everywhere.
9. Mara has been transfixed by Planet Earth 2 and the dulcet tones of Sir David Attenborough. She's also right in to Sofia the First so she might just like the noise and shapes on the TV.
10. We're putting our Christmas tree up this weekend and I can't wait to see Mara's face. After everything that she has been through this year, as well as us with her early arrival, it's going to make our first family Christmas that little bit more special.